Rantings of a BloggingBean v2: January 2008

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Remember Us This Way

On a Side Note...
Friday guard duty + Sunday medical centre duty = Goodbye weekend.

I can't give you any promises.

I don't need any promises. I just want to be able to hold your hand when I need you.

Remember?

In a fleeting moment, half a year has gone by. Being carefree and listening to songs make me feel happy. I was happy. But now I'm not that carefree no more. My sack of rotten resentment is weighing down on me. I wish to let go of it, but it's so hard. Do you see the person on his knees, with everything else in darkness but himself? I was so close to giving up. But you were there.

When you sat by my side, weeping silently, my heart ached. I didn't offer much words of consoling or try to cheer you up. I hugged you and didn't say much. Was I suppose to say anything? 'Cos I felt that at that moment, no words could better the comfort of someone holding you close. Not just anyone, but me. Your me.

I like my things to be perfect. That perfection doesn't exist, as the way my life is, but still I hold on to that foolish vision of perfection. It's my silly vision, but I want to have a vision, even if it's silly. Can I? Our relationship is less than perfect, nothing is perfect. But it is everything to me. Is it still 'is', or is it 'was'? Remember that night, you asked me why I kept looking on you? I didn't say much, it was hard to put it into words. Maybe I was feeling grateful to god for allowing you to be part of my life. Or maybe I just wanted time to stop there and then.

Or maybe this was a mistake from the start? I don't know for sure, but I know that what we had was for real. It wasn't only disappointment, but feeling lost when you told me that you're affected by another guy's pursuit of you. Disappointed that you're unable to understand why he is bound to give you more attention than I can afford now. Time will tell.

Feeling lost because you were right. Our relationship isn't as strong as it seemed, as how a third party can easily sway you. Would you understand how I feel, if another girl was going out with me and I told you that I'm uncertain about us?

I'm afraid of losing you, though I don't want to say it. But one thing for sure is that I'm not afraid of confronting our problems, even if in the end it means goodbye. I could say goodbye now, with a teardrop in my eye. Is that what I want? Can I say that I don't know anymore? Or is that just a sad excuse for being vulnerable?

Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do ya?

Labels: Unlabeled

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 8:06 PM

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Monday, January 21, 2008

Love, Hate

On a Side Note...
Had a really bad day at work. Was made to take over liabilities of others', aka sai gang. Other people's, mind you.

Do you know how much it pains me to turn away and distance myself away from someone who is supposed to be among the closest to me? You're someone whom I (should) love. I hate to hate you, but you make it SO hard for me to love you.

I hate to bear all these resentment and anger towards you, but I just can't talk to you anymore! I've tried both the soft and hard method, but it doesn't work because your natural reflex is just to defend yourself and put the blame on someone else. I can't bring myself to talk to you anymore. I'm sorry (that I actually hate you [at times/sometimes/half the time]), Mum.

Labels: Musings

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 7:05 PM

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

2000 - 2007

On a Side Note...
Baby's birthday =)

Just read from Gizmodo on the sales of the consoles in the US. Just in 2007, the consoles sold are as follows:

Nintendo DS - 8,500,000
Wii - 6,290,000
Xbox 360 - 4,620,000
PlayStation 2 - 3,970,000
PSP - 3,820,000
PlayStation 3 - 2,560,000

Nintendo certainly seems to be doing well. Consoles (like PS2 and PS3) are usually sold at a loss, and the companies actually earn from the royalties paid to them by the game publishers. The numbers are promising, but with rampant piracy, is it really still that profitable? Working in the game industry is akin to selling your soul to the devil, as my class used to say. Unfortunately this industry isn't quite my cuppa tea.

Here's the total cumulative sales in the US from the consoles' launch time till today:

PlayStation 2 - 41,120,000
Nintendo DS - 17,650,000
PSP - 10,470,000
Xbox 360 - 9,150,000
Wii - 7,380,000
PlayStation 3 - 3,250,000

I wonder how the overall global sales figure is like?

Calculate by a tech-geek from Gizmodo:

Using the launch dates:
Playstation 2 - 26th October 2000
Nintendo DS - 21st November 2004
PSP - 24th April 2005
Xbox 360 - 22nd November 2005
Playstation 3 - 11th November 2006
Wii - 19th November 06

From most to least popular:
Nintendo Wii - 18,133 units sold per day
Playstation 2 - 15,683 units sold per day
Nintendo DS - 15,551 units sold per day
Xbox 360 - 11,899 units per sold day
PSP - 10,672 units sold per day
Playstation 3 - 7,831 sold units per day

In other words, the Wii has been the most successful of them all by a long shot, and the rest of the field stacks up pretty much as expected, with the PS3 in a distant last, and the PSP nearly sharing the bottom with it.

Labels: Gadgets / Technology

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 4:16 PM

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

7 Days or 7 Week(end)s

On a Side Note...
The medical cover that I did for the NCC Camp Feast was nonsensical. Over there, I attended to rope burns, bruises, and stomach cramps/aches. C'mon, you don't need a medic for that. Any teacher or nanny could treat those mild scratches. Bah.

7 days, or 7 nights? I've had an unfortunate day, which saw my PSP's memory card get confiscated by the camp guard. They did an extremely thorough security check today, and I don't understand why I actually brought my PSP to camp since I didn't have regimental duties.

That could warrant a 7 day stay in the Detention Barracks (if they follow the traditional military law), or a 7 X 'extra' if they are kind. I'd prefer none of the above actually? Shall find out tomorrow.

Labels: Institution-Related

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 10:05 PM

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Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Friend Found

On a Side Note...
Started on my first PPCDL lesson. Its theory is way more complicated than the road's. Lights and shapes, rights and lefts.

More pics on snubbly little ~~Nipples~~Nibbles.

Irritated

Stretchy

Bailey's New Friend

Wut Cha Lookin' At?

Mr. Chinchibbit

I'm A Guinea Pig!

Labels: Animals / Pets

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 11:09 PM

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Monday, January 07, 2008

Questions 101

On a Side Note...
Birds of the same colour/feather flock together. It's been a short one month, but already I observed a few shitheads to stay away from. Introducing:
Mr. Dicky - As his nickname implies, he is a dick. 'Nuff said.
Mr. Slimy - Think 'snake', this guy is a two-headed backstabber who loves speaking ill of his 'course-mates', 'bunk-mates', and whatever-mates but not the term 'friends'. Does he have any friends?
Mr. Nasty - Has one helluva nasty smile.

Shopping budget, Chinese New Year budget, whatever budget. Why do I never get them? "'Cos I'm sensible", so I'm made to work for everything myself? I feel so sick over the entire occurrence, or rather, the never-ending exploitation. True, no one owes you/me a living, but why do I not feel like your child?

I'm not putting the blame on anyone, but I do think that part of my untypical-of-a-guy materialism is due to the fact that I always had to work for the things I wanted.

Why do I have to work part-time while studying for my own allowance while most others don't have to? Is it because I'm 'sensible'?

Why do I find it so hard to ask for financial aid from my folks? Is it because you make me feel that it's hard to?

Why is it hard for me to feel that I can get by without worrying ('bout having sufficient finances)? Is it because I feel a lack of support?

Why is it that the more I mature and the more I know/understand you, the more put off I am by you?

Why am I bitching 'bout this? Is it because I'm not as sensible as you think I am?

Why do I care?

Labels: Musings

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 11:03 PM

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Sunday, January 06, 2008

It's Not A Pokemon =(

It's a Netherland Dwarf rabbit. But my aunt wasn't wrong to say that it's a chinchilla as well. It's a chinchilla Netherland Dwarf rabbit. Chinchilla refers to its colour.

Labels: Animals / Pets

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 6:44 PM

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CHINCHIBBIT, I Choose You!

On a Side Note...
LocoRoco is a really cute 2D gravity game. What do I mean by gravity? You 'rotate' the world, causing your character to roll towards a direction. The songs on the game are really cute. It's original, and somehow I relate it to Katamari.

My family has got a new pet. My aunt who has been hospitalised is unable to take care of it so now it's part of my family. She says that it's a chinchilla, but I can't agree fully. Meet Nibbles.

Chinchilla? Or Rabbit?

Looks more like a Rabbit

But it has no tail =\
The pet shop said that it's a chinchilla and it cost about $850. It certainly doesn't look like a chinchilla though. Is it a cross breed? Maybe it's a CHINCHIBBIT! I'm gonna buy a red/white capsule and stuff it in. CHINCHIBBIT, use BITE!

Labels: Animals / Pets

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 5:32 PM

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Saturday, January 05, 2008

Harder To Breathe

On a Side Note...
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

1 year of trainee life comes soon. It's a difficult decision to make when you are presented with an easier alternative out - stay as a medic and lead a relaxing stay out life for the remaining one and a half years. I tell myself that I cannot be swayed, but at times like these I can't help but feel like I'm at the edge. This weakness cannot be allowed to continue. If I do not purge this little cloud of doubt now, it will only lead to bigger problems in future.

Times as such are demanding. Am I allowed to be weak and leave the problem to others? No. That's what gives me the drive, as well as some angst. I feel like leaving it to rot, but it's not my style of doing things. What can I do? I can neither advance nor retreat. I need oxygen therapy.

Labels: Musings

Penning my heartfelt thoughts at 2:23 AM

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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Usher In '08

On a Side Note...
Games on DS are definitely more interactive and fun, but DS seem to lack the epic RPGs that are on the other consoles.

Spent this year's countdown at the Yacht Club with Christie, Derek, & his friends. I had initially intended to drive to Sis' place and climb up Mount Faber to view the fireworks. Some of Derek's friends were Christie's primary school friends, and since we were all enjoying ourselves having fun, I scrapped the plan, and stayed on.

I turn 21 this year > < Feels like the years pass real quickly after my 18th. Been doing some thinking, and for sure it's a good thing to move on to wherever my path takes us in life. I can't afford to linger around and harbor the rotten feelings. Let bygones be. Looking back on last year's resolutions, it's time to reflect and set another in motion.

2007's resolutions
#1. Obtain my class 3 license finally.

#2. Graduate with a diploma, even if semester 7 is in place.

#3. Refrain from ever lighting up my first cigarette.

#4. Drink less.

#5. Sleep early.

#6. Save some money.

Greens are the ones that I manage to succeed in or uphold, while the duo in red are the ones that I need to improve on. Leading a stay out camp life at the moment, I often stay up past midnight, which leaves me with less than 6 hours of sleep. Insufficient. I am quite a spendthrift, and I certainly need more restrain in splurging on good food and leisure. With that in mind, my resolutions for 2008 would be as follows.

Resolutions for 2008
#1. Have at least 7 hours of rest...

On most days, at least. Excludes nights' of partying and social life.

#2. Save money

Targeted amount - $1500 at least

#3. Lose that tummy

More exercise, less carbs-intake (except for the occasional buffet)

#4. Obtain my PPCDL (Powered Pleasure Craft Driving License)

My lessons start on the 12th. It spans 1 weekend, followed by a theory and practical test.

#5. Qualify for Officer Cadet School

It's an uphill task which is tiring on both the body and mind, but I cannot question myself again on why I still wish to be there. I gotta make it happen.

#6. Be kind(er) to ~~animals~~others